Since this might not make the zineosphere...

Life on an Anarcho-Primitivist Planet vs. Life in Guantanamo Bay

Or

“How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Microwave”

Food

Guantanamo Bay: The prisoners have gained 13 pounds on average, eating meals prepared by rigid standards to meet the requirements set by the Islamic faith.

Primitivist Planet: Dirt. Likely seasoned with curry powder and soy sauce.

Health

Guantanamo Bay: Doctors may have ignored evidence of torture and mistreatment of detainees.

Primitivist Planet: The fuck is a doctor? Can they help with this “shitting my face off” problem I’ve been having?

Leisure

Guantanamo Bay: Prisoners who exhibit good behavior are allowed access to the prison’s exercise facilities and libraries. The libraries are well stocked, with books and magazines on topics from law to popular culture.

Primitivist Planet: People who manage to avoid venomous snake bites, mosquito-borne diseases and tribes of marauding cannibals may have access to a rock and a twig for entertainment purposes; provided that days berry harvest and squirrel hunt go exceptionally well.

Safety

Guantanamo Bay: The prisoners are subject to regular verbal and psychological torment from their captors and are occasionally subjected to torturous interrogation techniques.

Primitivist Planet: Assuming people move to climates free from disease carrying insects, large carnivores, harsh weather and not prone to natural disaster they are likely to be safe. At least, until somebody shows up who remembers what guns and cars are.

Culture

Guantanamo Bay: While lacking access to the internet (the most liberating invention of the last century, second only to effective birth control), the prisoners still have access to well-researched articles and works by genius authors.

Primitivist Planet: Look what I drew with my shit!

Cuba

Guantanamo Bay: Is in Cuba.

Primitivist Planet: Cuba is an unlivable swamp.

Check and mate.

Reppin’ that red and black,

Will

I'd like to discuss this with people because maybe I'm missing something, however, I can't promise that I won't mention that you're arguing over the internet.