Happy Halloween: A Seasonal Mega-Post

"I think I'll go as a four eyed humancorn. No, it'll totally work, I'll just smile like I'm beheading a baby just outside of the frame."

Oh, Halloween. Can any other holiday (Valentine's Day and New Year's excluded) bring us such delight or disappointment? As usual, I believe I'll focus on the disappointment. God, so much disappointment. 

Satan is always happy to take part in making innocent people go blind. Also worth noting is that Hello Kitty's head has clearly been severed from it's body; no wonder the dark lord is so pleased.

The girl on the left is going as a woman with a neon spaghetti noodle for a left arm. The other two have obviously never  heard of Halloween. 

This Halloween, Hulk Hogan dressed as a hipster meth-head version of himself. I think he nailed it, and likely his cousin.

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Note to self: If I'm gonna get my ass beat, do it in late October. I can just dunk my head in a bag of flour and call it a costume.

No, I'm not giving you a hug. No, you can't sit down. Go home and take a shower. I hope you can get the paint to come off, the shame never will. 

Extra credit for being the exact same size and shape of Rick Ross's actual head.

Okay. This is just upsetting. All they needed to do was put on a dress the same color as their weird hat masks and tie a black belt around it to make this costume complete. As it is, they just look like they found some bizarre novelty condoms and failed sex ed. I thought for a long time that laziness, being an abstract concept, would be impossible to photograph. Clearly, I was wrong.

Dammit, some ducks stole crossing guard vests and sneaked into the party. Lucille, fetch the broom.

I want to make fun of something in this picture, but I honestly want to party with these kids.

Well, I really enjoyed sleeping most nights these past 22 years, guess that's over.

Stoners: Too lazy to actually carve a pumpkin for as long as they can remember.

DIY as fuck. Up the punx.

You'd think being a sailor would mean you'd at least occasionally see the sun. I'd make fun of this more, but I think this young lady with the Vitamin D deficiency is actually sort of cute, so I'll leave that to you.

More to come...

BoooooooOOOOOOoooOOOOOooOOOOOO!