Caption Calamity or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Prompts"

http://www.tomslatin.com/80-journal-writing-prompts/


1. Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced.

Yup, that was me. Sorry guys.

2. What 5 websites do you visit often, and why?

I don't see the need for the other ones.

3. Name a truly useless possession and how you came to acquire it.

It was a total accident. I don't even remember getting it! What the hell  do people use these for?

4. What music album would be used for the movie of your life?

No one would watch it anyway, so why the hell not?

 5. List your bad habits and/or addictions and how you have tried to rid yourself of them.

This is the answer to both parts of that prompt. It's worked swimmingly. 

6. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, and what would you do if later on you changed your mind?

I think I'd change that I'm not Batman. I doubt I would change my mind, but being Bruce Wayne would be pretty tight too.

7. What are your religious beliefs?  Have they changed, or have they always stayed the same?

One morning I briefly worshiped Ibuprofen, but that ended when I  learned it could not walk  on water, or at all.

8. When was your last food craving, and what did you crave?

And just now. Fuck you prompts. I stand by all those statements about your mother.

9. Who was your first crush and what made them special?

As part of my larger (and more troubling) Wednesday Addams fetish. Age  has not treated her kindly.

10. Name your most cherished childhood memory.

No wait, that's Jeff Goldblum (though the resemblance is uncanny). And that is not a memory but rather a motion picture. Fuck it. Until I unlock all my repressed childhood experiences with dinosaurs, this'll have to do.

11. Turn to an entry in your journal or diary from a year or more ago.  What has changed and what has stayed the same since then?

I only learned how to read a few months ago. Am I too old to be called a prodigy?

12. What is one thing nobody knows about you because nobody ever cared to ask?

I get around via echolocation. Also, I have a Wednesday Addams fetish.

13. Robert Frost write a poem titled The Road Not Taken.  Name a road you’ve always wanted to travel.  Where do you hope it takes you, and what might you see on the way?

Any road that takes me away from that fucking cliched-ass poem. Preferably at illogical speeds.

14. Name one thing you always wanted to do, but haven’t.  What has prevented you from doing it?

More important things to do I guess.

15. Write about your first kiss, was it everything you wished or hoped it would be?

Ever see Death straight in the eye? Ever had a gun held to you? Ever felt cold damp hands pulling you into the underworld? Yep, any of those things would've been better.

Expect more the next time I feel uninspired or lazy. In the meantime, anytime a crossword asks you for a European city, the answer is Oslo. Now you can't say I don't do nothin' for ya'.