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| I challenge anybody to pass a blind vodka taste test. |
- I overheard someone doing an impersonation of Michael Scott from the Office doing an impersonation of Robin Williams. This was a restaurant with steak knives. Anyone who claims I have no self control is preaching utter falsehood.
- Work has made me really good at the order of the months. I will never confuse March and May again. In exchange, I may start confusing numbness with joy.
- The more complicated, vague or unintelligible an order I receive at work is, the quicker the issuer manages to disappear without a trace. Commision Gordon, I feel for ya buddy.
- In a futile effort to entertain myself, I like to yell "BOOM! POSTED!" whenever I use that stamp. Did I mention that that effort was futile?
- I bought a mouse on Amazon the other day while not using a mouse. I don't give a shit how boring that is, I'm pretty proud dammit.
- The cameras at NBA never really get close enough to see what the player's tattoos are. Thankfully, I have a hell of an imagination.
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| Classy pick, Lebron. |
- I just re-watched the "Man with no Name" trilogy and I've got to say, the actor who plays Tuco isn't all that ugly. I think a more appropriate, if less family friendly, name for that last film would be "The Good, The Bad and the Batshit Insane".
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| Seriously, they're fucking delicious. |
- A waiter was confused by my order of a Manhattan last night even though he wasn't the one making it. Pointing to it on the menu didn't help much, but eventually a busser cleared everything up for us. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say anything bad about the waiter. I know he'd probably been busting his ass all day and I'm willing to cut him all sorts of slack. What does upset me is that this is an obvious sign that the rest of you are not ordering nearly enough Manhattans. If your favorite cocktail includes non-alcoholic ingredients that aren't water or garnish, just cut the bullshit and have a glass of milk.
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| No shame in that...if you're a CHILD. |
Re: "What does upset me is that this is an obvious sign that the rest of you are not ordering nearly enough Manhattans."
ReplyDeleteI'm doing my damn best.
Also, the last time I offered to put bitters in a drink for you, your reply was, "are you an old man?"
In conclusion, you are a troll, but dammit, you have good taste. What whiskey, Clint Eastwood movies and Taylor Swift.
That was obviously in denial about my true age, which I can now accept, but not yet reveal. Also, I would find it hard to decide between a night of drinking with Clint or a night of whatever the hell devout, sober Christians do with Taylor Swift. I'm gonna go with Taylor, since Clint is very old and it's a very important goal in my life to never change a diaper.
ReplyDelete