Three posts on a Friday. I'm really cool.

I seem to be having some trouble getting inspired. But since I don't have a damn thing to do and this brandy isn't doing the trick, maybe #inspiration will. 

I don’t chase ‘em, I replace ‘em, and if I’m caressing them, I’m undressing them. -Notorious B.I.G

Wait. A decent quote that isn't crazy sappy and has a badass picture of a badass man to go with it. I don't get this lucky. I'm scared now. Something wicked this way comes.

Lots of people release doves, but who's in charge of catching all the fuckers? I want that job. Please contact me, I have a very nice resume with lots of experience in related fields.

So here we have someone old enough or clever enough to design a logo for themselves, yet not old or wise enough to know that it is the ugliest thing I've seen outside of a truck stop bathroom.

I'm suddenly inspired to organize my books by color and also to put a filthy ass dog on an expensive white couch. Did they mean #huh?

There's no such thing as a serving size for a potato, it's a fucking potato. Also, who uses 1oz of salad dressing? Chumps. That's who.

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Apparently the poster thought the best way to make this point was to use a photo of a girl who has no visible imperfections. Perhaps not the best didactic tactic (note to self: use as name for rap act).

Trees are now browsing tumblr. What a world!

Handsome, literate man doesn't understand guns.

Just a magic hen and some freakish anatomy.

Anatomy joke? Aesthetic joke? Aneurysm joke? Is it possible that this image is TOO inspirational?

Just remember to roll over every once in a while, bedsores hurt. 

Do you mean my computer? Because I think I might already overlove it. If only it wasn't so huggable. 

Okay now I'm inspired. Think about it, they're like removable knuck tatts. Sure, her's suck but THINK OF THE POTENTIAL. I can have plain old knuckles five days a week and "DICK LEAK" on the weekends. Win/win.

Well, I'm certainly inspired. Wait, is this glass empty? Yup, just drunk, I get the two confused a lot. Cheers.